A here with yet another VLOG post and this time it's a day in a life with me.

Trust me y'all this is as simple as it gets, if anything spontaneous were to happen—I'd be lucky enough to capture it, but for now this would do. I also wanted to test out my iPhone 5s and my wide angled fish eye lenses kit and so far I love how it just captures everything.

I do have a digi cam, but no batteries :( 

First world problems y'know?

Enjoy everyone and thanks so much for the support!

 
Ashley here, with another food for thought. 

Without a doubt, Gelaine and I suck as a whole not updating as frequently as we said we would. Honestly, not going to give any bullshit excuse—but life as usual just got in the way. The two of us are full time students with a part-time job and trying to meet in between just isn't in the works as of right now. As for summer, well we've been working 20-30 hours a week and Gelaine did go out of the country—timing was just never on our side.

But here I am with a blog post to start off the new school year! The two of us are in third year and I came across the idea of doing a 'Back to School Post', but I just didn't know how to approach it...I mean I could do a back to school haul? But most of my supplies are from the dollar store or staples...Although, please buy ink at Best Buy cause it's a hellllaaaa good deal there than Staples (unless you have a costco membership then bless your soul cause ink prices are a blessing there).  Then there's the idea of a back to school look book, but we've been swarmed with classes, work, and events that there was just no way we could meet up to do so. So then how exactly am I going to do a post about school if it's not about style/beauty/hauls? Simple. Just telling you exactly how it is.

School sucks.

Now don't get me wrong, education is an opportunity as well as a gateway to our future. Learning is a gift that grants us with knowledge. However, the process of gaining knowledge sucks. You start off with kindergarten, moving on to elementary, middle school, high school and then your post secondary education or going straight into the workplace right? As simple as these steps and stages sound, what you do in between and during is what sucks.

I guess what I'm trying to get at is that from my personal experience with school there's just so much to take in that it gets overwhelming how much of it has changed. Kindergarten you're either playing around or learning the alphabet, elementary to middle school you're slowly gaining knowledge in a sense where you apply them and it makes you realize your strengths and weaknesses. High school is the year where it either makes you or breaks you. It's the place where you supposedly have an idea of your future and what you want.

But I didn't have the idea of what I wanted.

While all my friends had a sense of understanding of what they're good at, I was just a....floater—I waited and sure you can say procrastinated with what I wanted to do, but I just lived in the moment and did work that I had to do. I had a structure of how my life should go: "After high school, I'm going to university..." But the question is what did I want to do? I left it till the last minute and ended up taking my BA at Ryerson for Sociology with a minor in Criminology. Now you're probably thinking, "Okay if you didn't know what to do...Why didn't you take a year off?" But posing a question as simple as that is much more complex in real life. My mind set at the time is to make my parents proud because growing up we've been through hell and back—and all I want to do is make them proud.

Now I'm in my third year, I'm at the point where I'm not gonna look back and say I regret this and as much as I complain (since i live and breath complaints errryyday), I'm going to make do with what I have and with what I can do. I enjoy my program, I've made friends here and there and I've learned to gain interests and what not. What I want to do after is another story. It's scary, thinking after that BA—What will I do next? Masters? Year off?

Anxiety gets the best of us and it doesn't matter how old you are or what your current situation is. However, you as a person, as a whole shouldn't doubt yourself—I've realized that there are many people who are going through the same process, and that we are not alone. I guess what I'm trying to say is that, school sucks cause it plays a role in developing a sense of self, and for people like me who are floaters, where exactly do we fit in? Attaining a type of career choice is either a) being judged upon ("Oh so you're taking Sociology? What are you going to do after?" "Sociology? You're going to be a social worker?"), b) the demand in the job market is do or die at this point because there are high demands in one sector and low on the other, c) forced upon ("Why don't you be a nurse!"), etc. etc.

Now I've seen it all, I've seen it through all my friends and family members–We all impact each other in some way and where I'm getting at is: Take a deep breath, inhale, exhale and clear your mind. You can get through this.

I love lists, so I'm going to list off things right off the bat instead of going off into a tangent:

• If you don't know what to do—Don't force yourself into something just so you can please everyone around you. It's not easy, but if you could hold off and find something you love then it would be worth it in the end.
• Don't compare yourself to others. I've been in this state of mind for years and it's not pretty—whether you hear their achievements, or listen to your parents gloat about them—do not ever think you are less than them. You are your own person, own up to it and simply show what you can do. Nosce Te Ipsum; Know thyself. You are not less, you are greater than you can ever imagine.
• You're not alone, surround yourself with positive people who have made an impact in your life and helped you pull through. Dispose dead weights who have brought you down, you don't need excess negativity—especially through a stressful school year. 
• You will have your ups and downs, it's all about learning to handle them. Find an outlet is my best advice for you, whether it's reading, writing (my personal fave), working out, eating (first personal fave), etc. Though, don't distract yourself in order to run away from reality—Get shit done so you could get somewhere and say you did it.
• Go ahead, be negative, be positive, get mad, get sad—You will go through a whirlwind of emotions and it's okay not to be okay. Learn to pick yourself up again and gear towards motivation and kicking ass. 
• Sleep...Seriously, sleep if you have to.
• Fear for the future, but learn to conquer it by dreaming big. Surely, you'll doubt yourself at one point in time. But don't stay in that state for too long, gain confidence and watch what you're able to do unfold.
• Take a risk once in a while, whether it's something you've never done before—or a mindset that hasn't occurred to you. Learn to not bring yourself down, self-acceptance; learn to be more optimistic, even if you're a pessimist—those count as risks. Change up your routine, eat new food, learn a language, watch or listen to a movie or music genre out of your comfort zone. You're just changing a minor detail in your life and you never know, it may lead to greater things...
• Appreciate the little things.

And sure maybe you had an idea of what you wanted to do, but realize this isn't what you wanted. Judging by your current situation, whether it's money, time, and all that effort—It's okay that you've realized it, just make do and turn your life around in the long run. If you're settled and you love what you're doing, then keep it up and I'm sure as hell glad and proud that you've found the pathway you want.

Dreams and passions are always getting gutted by expectations and what others want, but we can always achieve what we want if we put our minds and heart to it. I hope that everyone's school year isn't as tough as it should and that you'll able to pull through! It's okay if you bombed a test or assignment, don't give up and expect that, that's the grade you're going to end up with. I stuck with that mentality for my first two years of university and at this point, I'm all about just putting in effort and seeing where it can take me. You can do this and if you don't believe it, well know that someone out there does.

Don't give up.
Keep going forward.
Conquer.

xoxo

Ashley

In my previous post I've mentioned about life talks and so I came up with the idea of a "Food For Thought" segment on our blog. Basically these are posts which are related to reflections upon every day life, as well as advice, opinions, life experiences, etc. This is the part where we basically get personal. Life isn't always glam and one satisfying feeling for most of us is to know that we're not alone whether it's with life struggles, trying to finish a paper, bombing an exam, the love bug (which i try to be an expert on with no experience)—Those kind of things. Moving onto today's topic, I'll be writing about "20 things I've learned in 20 years" aka 20/20 (i have the tendency to make names up for anything and anyone).

HEY EVERYBODY! HEYYY ASHLAAYY! OKAAAY, so as you guys know I did say I was going to film a Reading Week vlog right? Well, I did have some footage, but I wasn't satisfied with it! BOOO! HOWEVER, I did have plans to make a haul video, along with a 'What I got for my Birthday'—but my camera decided to be a total shit show and have no memory to film. Therefore, I resorted to doing a blog post like I planned to and so here it is! For the past month it has been a whirlwind of essays and midterms...But hey, after a shit ton of allnighters and last minute studying—I had enough time to revamp F&X and take enough pictures for this post. By the way, do you guys love the new look? It's still a work in progress, but once school's done, Gelaine and I hope to excel in the art of blogging...I mean we practically breathe HTML y'know?

So last friday (Feb. 28), I turned the big TWO ZERO aka 20 aka two decades on earth. What a time to be alive right?...Nahhhhhht. I mean at this point, you've reached actual adulthood...Like sure 18 you declared yourself into womanhood (or man hood but i'm speaking for the ladies out there & in my opinion that shit only gets declared if you threw yourself a debut) and then there's turning 19 where you declared yourself into the legal's club. But 20 is where you enter the future years as I would like to call it; seeing as you're saying sayonara to the teen days and hello to being an adult. Remember those times when you were super young and you were like, "Oh my god, when I turn twenty I'm going to..." Well that's the age you're at and I'm pretty sure that you haven't even fulfilled those major goals yet...Some, but not all...You're basically at the age where you're beginning to grow even more and change as a person whether it's for the worse or better. But that's enough life talks, that'll be for another post! Right now, let's get on with the mini haul.

DAY ONE: 

Once I got my lanyard at the TIFF Lightbox, I hurriedly rushed to the ScotiaBank theatre in order to make it on time for PVP's panel. Downtown Toronto was so alive that morning, it was a great feeling seeing a bunch of people with buffer fest lanyards around their necks, walking hastily and excitingly with their friends - happily discussing youtube related stuff - of course. Even the volunteers greeted me with so much energy, and I couldn't help but feel ecstatic as well. As I was walking towards the Scotiabank theatre, I could see a familiar face walking opposite of me. I could not really figure out who it was at that time, but all I know is that I've seen his face somewhere before. Only after that person walked passed me did I realize who it was ...... IT WAS CHARLIEISSOCOOLLIKE. Yes, I am still ashamed of myself for not noticing it right away T_T, I missed out on a great opportunity (to kidnap him - wait whut lol ... kidding..)

Anyways, I eventually made it inside the movie theatre, ready to see PrankVSPrank (mind you, it was a SOLD OUT show). The show was hosted by SoundlyAwake instead of CTFxC (Poor Charles). He did a good job, but I still wish CTFxC were there instead. The "movie" was basically a compilation of their favourite vidoes on Youtube and at times, Jesse and Jeana would do commentaries. I was slightly starstruck, and couldn't grasp the fact that we were in the same vicinity as PVP (fangirling~~). After, a short Q&A session took place. Some people asked some odd questions like "Why did you get divorce Jesse" or "When are you guys getting married" - none of them were answered with much detail - we must give them privacy, obviously. If you check out this vlog, I WAS IN IT! (you will not see me clearly, but I was there!). Jesse was also nice enough to send CTFxC a video of the theatre crowd shouting "We love you CHARLES TRIPPY". We were also the first people to see the Cookie Dance music video! I felt very special, and it was a super funny video as well, all that hard work paid off Jesse!  I was still starstruck as I left the theatre - I could NOT wait to see them during the MEET UP.


My friend Trishia and I decided to attend the second day of buffer fest - because when is one day ever enough? We decided go to Hannah Hart's meet up. Hannah Hart is the cutest thing! I had no idea she was so short, I should've known from her videos with Mamrie and Grace. She is so adorable and so nice. You could tell that she gives a good amount of love and attention to her fans (Plus, she's a great hugger). I can totally understand why so many girls have a crush on her - it is hard to resist her smile and her PUNS! My friend and I both wore ugly sweaters that day (accidentally matching) and Hannah Hart complimented us both on our sweaters! <333 After the meetup, my friend and I decided to go to Buffer Fest's free red carpet event. Thankfully, we got a pretty good spot along the red carpet. Once we realized that more and more fans started lining up, my friend and I rushed to the red carpet and played the waiting game. It was raining for a few minutes while we waited for the youtubers. Thankfully the rain slowed down when the event officially started. It was surreal- youtubers would casually walk passed us, and chat with us as we take pictures of them and as they take videos of us. This is why I loved Buffer Fest so much, it offered a personal approach and it was literally like seeing your Internet friends live. Unlike TIFF, where celebrities wouldn't really try and converse with you- these youtubers were so approachable and inviting. It didn't feel like I was annoying them, these youtubers can finally see the faces behind their camera lens and we can finally interact with those who we just normally see on our computer screen. I remember complementing Davey Wavey on his shoes, and talking with Corey Vidal about Vlogumentary - and chatting with Sawyer Hartman about the weather and about doing drunk videos with Tyler Oakley ... the usual nbd (lol, kidding I was seriously freaking out at that time). I think I've seen 90% of the youtubers that were featured in this year's Buffer Fest.

The best part of the red carpet for me was seeing The Holy Trinity of Comedy aka Mamrie Hart (youdeserveadrink), Hannah Hart(myharto) and Grace Helbig(dailygrace). Not too sure if they planned it, but they look like Youtube's version of Charlie's Angels, dashingly adorable and colour coordinated (also, have such strong sexual appeal aha).  I spotted Grace checking her reflection from a glass window, and I remember myself saying out loud "You already look so good Grace!" (Yes, I'm a wierdo, and a creep). My mouth has no filter in these types of situations. (Too.Many.Feels - can't handle). My friend and I managed to get highfives from all three lovely ladies - and you can pretty much say that my day has been made. I'm still recovering from all that happened that day.

Just chillin with the TRIO. I really like how Hannah Hart looks in this picture, so genuine and so happy to be seeing her Canadian Fans <333 SO.MUCH.FEELS (did I also mention that Hannah Hart Reblogged this picture on her tumblr?!)

Too many selfies, too many 2 minute conversations with too many lovely youtubers. Sadly, my friend and I felt sick from the rain during the red carpet event and couldn't go to Grace Helbig's meet up the next day.... But, A selfie with dailygrace is just as awesome anyways~). It was an amazing 2 days, and I thank Buffer Fest for being the underdog that it is and also APPRENTICEEH for making Buffer Fest happen. I cannot wait for the next one! (I'm pretty sure there will be twice as much people attending, and it will be twice as hectic - but for youtubers, I'll do almost anything - anyone wanna join my youtube groupie?)

Selfies for dayss~  Do you recognize these youtubers?!

...... These are some of the videos I was in! Spot me! (thumbs up for gifs!)

In Nerdy and Quirky's vlog! (Our Polaroid pic togethaaa)

PVP'S VLOG SAAAAN! It might be a tad harder to spot me in this one - even with my big head.

In FunforLouis' Vlog!! (why I covered myself with my iPhone,  I don't know T_T)

MY FULL-ON CONVERSATION WITH COREY WAS RECORDED - WTF!!!!!!!!

3 more gifs with Trishia and I ... because why not!?

FOOOLSSS

Watch Hannah watching us, now watch Mamrie take selfies with us, now see Grace say "LEAN BACK" while this all happens. TOO MANY FEELS.

MAKING A VINE WITH EPIC MEAL TIME DUDE.